WORDS WOMEN USE

This is something I heard on the radio a while ago. I thought it was really cute so I looked it up and saved it on my computer. I was looking through my documents the other day and thought it would be fun to post for you:

WORDS WOMEN USE:

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(LOUD SIGH): This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying F@!$ YOU!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT ... I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.

Silence That Isn’t Golden

Silence That Isn’t Golden

Originally Posted on October 21st, 2009 Richard Himmer

Some years ago my wife, Cheri and I had dinner with some friends at a little Mexican restaurant in the Proctor district in Tacoma. The food was sumptuous and my chimichanga was absolutely amazing especially considering it was fat free, at least until I ate it.

It was a blustery evening outside so after dinner we snuggled up to a fireplace conversation. It was rather mundane actually, that is until Gertie expressed some strong opinions on a political subject.

What a perfect evening this was turning out to be, a dinner and a conflict. Gertie’s strong words did not harmonize with my view and I felt excited at the potential conflict brewing in the room.

Let me interrupt my narrative for a semantic identification moment. First of all the purpose of communicating is to exchange understanding. Trying to get someone to agree with you is manipulative and contentious.

Secondly, we often confuse conflict and contention so here is my take on the two words.

Conflict is friction. It is not agreeing on the methodology but having the same goal. Conflict is to be resolved and is necessary for growth, especially within a relationship. Weight lifting is conflict to your muscles. Conflict resolution is searching for understanding at the expense of personal opinion. It is what is right and not who is right.

Contention is evil and the absence of progress. It is making conflict personal. It is not topic related but carries the intent to harm with no desire to learn. Contention is searching for agreement versus exchanging understanding. Contention is who is right at the expense of what is right.

As I commenced questioning Gertie about her point of view, she became defensive. There is no doubt my questioning skills could improve, but before I could even express a difference of opinion, we quickly went from conflict straight into contention and the conversation was over.

What happened was written all over my freckled face. The subject was changed, the air was thick, and the evening quickly turned cool. Within 15 minutes we were driving home discussing what I did wrong (because it’s usually my fault.)

I’ve had years to consider this and many other similar events in my life. It seems my questions often get things out of sorts with other folks’ perceived harmony. Why?

That’s because of the confusion associated with conflict and contention. Conflict means there is communication and progress going on. How much exchanging is being transmitted when there is a wall of silence betwixt you and the other person?

Silence isn’t golden. Silence is contention and inhibits progress. Remember the next time you lose your cookies at someone or feel offended, elongated silence damages you much more than the perceived damage of your silence does to the other.

The only exception to this rule is a parent to the child. Parental silence is more than contention, it’s abuse and childish. Grow up and learn to communicate.

Quote of the Day!

"Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!"

Barack Obama

Quote of the Day!

"Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage."

Zig Ziglar
American Sales Trainer, Author, Motivational Speaker

Do Words Have Meaning Anymore?

Do Words Have Meaning Anymore?

Posted on October 1st, 2009 Richard Himmer

Within each culture there are certain words that carry a specific meaning known only to the aborigines and veterans of that culture.

For example, in the German culture if you point to the temple on your head with your index finger, you are expressing the same sentiment in German as if you were to extend the middle finger high in the air here in the states.

In Germany, Switzerland, or Austria, if you were to ask the question: “How are you today,” be prepared to listen to an answer. Here, expect to hear one word that carries no meaning. Something like, fine.

What does fine mean? What does good mean? How about “All things considered, I’m doing well.”

Have you ever muttered under your breath while attending a rock concert how much you’d like to play the guitar or the keyboards? How truthful are those words? Do you really mean what you say?

Try an experiment today. Pay specific attention to the words your friends and co-workers use when conversing with each other. Notice how ambiguous their statements are.

We have mastered such words as: that’s interesting, we’ll see, I might, perhaps or maybe.

The ‘Good Book’ councils us to say “yea, yea” and “nay, nay.” What does that mean? Is it possible that our language aptitude has an impact upon our happiness quotient? I don’t know about you, but my purpose for existence is to be happy and have joy?

Improving our ability to effectively communicate will eliminate misunderstandings and hurt feelings. In sales, assumed closes are a tool that leverages ambiguity and puts the person being sold to in an uncomfortable situation.

Assuming there is understanding is like saying I want to play the guitar but never taking lessons or even owning a guitar.

What do your words mean?

Most people have a strong desire to communicate effectively.

Some people have the basic knowledge of communication tools that are helpful. Knowledge is obtained through study and taking courses.

Very few people possess the necessary skills. The skills are acquired through coaching and practice.

Just wanting to improve your communication is not enough.

Coaching, Communication, Family, Marriage Effective Communication, Meaning of Words, Words