That I did always love,
I bring thee proof:
That till I loved
I did not love enough.
That I shall love always,
I offer thee
That love is life,
And life hath immortality.
This, dost that doubt, sweet?
Then have I
Nothing to show
But
Emily Dickensen
Always and Forever Creations
Debra’s Botanical Designs
GardenPartyToGo Romantic Wedding Flowers
Hector Auffant Designs-Cascade Floral
L & M Designs
Lola Event Floral and Design
Some years ago my wife, Cheri and I had dinner with some friends at a little Mexican restaurant in the Proctor district in Tacoma. The food was sumptuous and my chimichanga was absolutely amazing especially considering it was fat free, at least until I ate it.
It was a blustery evening outside so after dinner we snuggled up to a fireplace conversation. It was rather mundane actually, that is until Gertie expressed some strong opinions on a political subject.
What a perfect evening this was turning out to be, a dinner and a conflict. Gertie’s strong words did not harmonize with my view and I felt excited at the potential conflict brewing in the room.
Let me interrupt my narrative for a semantic identification moment. First of all the purpose of communicating is to exchange understanding. Trying to get someone to agree with you is manipulative and contentious.
Secondly, we often confuse conflict and contention so here is my take on the two words.
Conflict is friction. It is not agreeing on the methodology but having the same goal. Conflict is to be resolved and is necessary for growth, especially within a relationship. Weight lifting is conflict to your muscles. Conflict resolution is searching for understanding at the expense of personal opinion. It is what is right and not who is right.
Contention is evil and the absence of progress. It is making conflict personal. It is not topic related but carries the intent to harm with no desire to learn. Contention is searching for agreement versus exchanging understanding. Contention is who is right at the expense of what is right.
As I commenced questioning Gertie about her point of view, she became defensive. There is no doubt my questioning skills could improve, but before I could even express a difference of opinion, we quickly went from conflict straight into contention and the conversation was over.
What happened was written all over my freckled face. The subject was changed, the air was thick, and the evening quickly turned cool. Within 15 minutes we were driving home discussing what I did wrong (because it’s usually my fault.)
I’ve had years to consider this and many other similar events in my life. It seems my questions often get things out of sorts with other folks’ perceived harmony. Why?
That’s because of the confusion associated with conflict and contention. Conflict means there is communication and progress going on. How much exchanging is being transmitted when there is a wall of silence betwixt you and the other person?
Silence isn’t golden. Silence is contention and inhibits progress. Remember the next time you lose your cookies at someone or feel offended, elongated silence damages you much more than the perceived damage of your silence does to the other.
The only exception to this rule is a parent to the child. Parental silence is more than contention, it’s abuse and childish. Grow up and learn to communicate.
Diamonds ---Getting the Most for Your Money
Have you been together as a couple for a while now? Have you seen your romance grow into love and mutual respect? Do you communicate deeply and solve conflicts together? Do you want to be with your partner for the rest of your life? Is it time to start looking for a diamond?
When buying a diamond there are steps you can take to ensure that you get the most for your money. There are great values to be found in today’s marketplace if you can navigate through all the pitfalls. Take to heart the following do’s and don’ts .
Define A Budget
As a couple discuss and decide on what you want for an engagement ring and what you can afford to spend on that ring.
Ask Your Friends And Family for Jewelers That They Trust
Make two or three of the top names your starting place. Go to and interact with each company to see if they are right for you.
Resolve To Take Your Time
Diamond education is vitally important to getting a great looking diamond at the best price. Don’t try to get by with what appears to be easy deals. Take your time and do not make a spur of the moment “emotional” decision. Be patient, do your homework and learn to be able to tell whether or not a seller is looking out for your benefit.
Get As Educated As Possible About Diamonds
Learn and understand the 4C’s of Diamond Grading---Color, Clarity, Carat Weight and Cut. Find a store that will actually show you the 4C’s using diamond grading equipment and not just talk about them.
Shopping For And Buying A Loose Diamond Will Save You Money
Make sure you purchase your diamond loose not mounted. If it is mounted it is impossible to accurately determine the Color, Clarity, Carat Weight or Cut of the diamond and to know if you are getting good value.
Perceiving Diamond Color Will Save You Money
If you can see the different diamond color grades side-by-side then you can determine just what colors will work for you. Very tiny differences in diamond color can make a difference in value of hundreds or thousands of dollars. By seeing the diamond color grades you can decide to spend your money on a higher color or to save some money by purchasing a lower color grade.
Perceiving Diamond Clarity Will Save You Money
If you can see what the different diamond clarity grades look like under a binocular microscope then you can determine just what clarities will work for you. Very tiny differences in diamond clarity can make a difference in value of hundreds or thousands of dollars. By seeing the diamond clarity grades you can decide to spend your money on a higher clarity or to save some money by purchasing a lower clarity grade.
Knowing How Diamond Carat Weight Affects Value Will Save You Money
Small differences in diamond carat weight can make a difference in value of hundreds or thousands of dollars. For example, a 1.35 ct diamond approaches the size of a 1.50 ct but costs substantially less for the same Shape, Color, Clarity and Cut. Knowing this can help you to get the look that you want for less.
Knowing Diamond Cut Will Let You Choose Between Beauty and Saving Money
Small differences in Diamond Cut---the inter-related proportions and angles of a stone make a huge difference in both how beautiful a diamond is and in its value. A poorly cut diamond may be up to 50% less expensive but it will not be as beautiful and will have less brilliance, fire and scintillation.
Considering Fancy Shape Diamonds Will Save You Money
All of the Fancy Shape Diamonds are less expensive than a Round Brilliant Cut Diamond---all things being equal. Some fancy shapes are the Princess Cut, the Marquise Cut, the Oval Shape, the Heart Shape, the Pear Shape, the Radiant Cut, the Emerald Cut, the Asscher Cut and the Cushion Cut. Within each of these shapes you can find some examples that are very beautiful and many examples that are not beautiful.
Find The Company Who Will Work To Provide You With Your Perfect Stone
You want to spend your budget on a beautiful diamond with the qualities that is important to you. Everyone will have their own perception as to what is a good diamond. Some may want a high quality, Super Ideal Cut diamond, while others want a very nice looking near ideal cut diamond that is clean to the naked eye, whitish in color, and as large as they can afford. Others may prefer a different shape, Princess, Marquise, Oval, Heart, Cushion, etc.
You should find a jeweler that will listen to your preferences and help you find a beautiful diamond with the qualities that are perfect for you.
If you follow these shopping tips you will purchase a beautiful diamond at a great price. It will be a diamond that you will forever cherish as you move forward with your life together. We wish you the best.
Wendy Balidoy of Spinning W.E.B. Florist, www.spinningwebflorist.com, offers ideas on decorating:
Well...there are alot of new trends that we are seeing, and of course, everyone wants the most bang for their buck.
Black seems to be BIG.....black rocks lining pathways...black chandeliers suspended above, black vases, black accents in bouquets.... and feathers, lots of feathers! Peacock feathers, which look fantastic with black accents are in demand. White ostrich plumes are also very popular.
Brides are looking for options rather than the "rose", we found that green cymbidiums were in for the past two years...but this year and for next year..its calla lilies!
Large vase rentals are very popular, especially for our destination brides who want "the look" but
do not want the hassle of lugging them home.... These large vases can be a dual purpose expense. They can line the isle to the alter, and be quickly moved to the guest tables during the reception or couple's cocktail hour.
Flowers, Baubles & Beads
Floral arrangements have come along way, and now can include feathers, beads, rhinestones and other "bling" that adds texture and color.
Terrie Easley, of Terrie Easley Designs www.easleydesigns.com, shares some of the trends she's seeing:
No matter the circumstances, weddings still are visions that a Bride and Groom have had for years as to what that special day will be like when it becomes a reality. Especially the Bride! It must be her dream day from the beginning to the end with the groom’s favorite part being…”the ultimate honeymoon.” When there is a budget established, it is sometimes altered when an idea is introduced that seems to “just be too good to pass up”.
There are so many new items on the wedding market. The wristlet bands are with beads, crystals, pearls, and rhinestones. The boutonnieres have pewter, or metal holders as does the bouquet holders. New types of ribbons, new arbors and arches made of bamboo or willow are choices of many couples getting married outdoors.
Being in business for 30 some years, I can honestly say that though there are newer trends, the old traditional with just a touch of new ideas is still the choice of most couples when it comes to floral designs. It comes full circle as most things do.
Wendy Balidoy of Spinning W.E.B. Florist, www.spinningwebflorist.com, offers more details:
Well...there are alot of new trends that we are seeing, and of course, everyone wants the most bang for their buck.
Black seems to be BIG.....black rocks lining pathways...black chandeliers suspended above, black vases, black accents in bouquets.... and feathers, lots of feathers! Peacock feathers, which look fantastic with black accents are in demand. White ostrich plumes are also very popular.
Brides are looking for options rather than the "rose", we found that green cymbidiums were in for the past two years...but this year and for next year..its calla lilies!
Large vase rentals are very popular, especially for our destination brides who want "the look" but
do not want the hassle of lugging them home.... These large vases can be a dual purpose expense. They can line the isle to the alter, and be quickly moved to the guest tables during the reception or couple's cocktail hour.
Light it UP!
Floral arrangements add beauty and romance to a wedding and the reception, but what if you want something .... well, something MORE? You light it.
Terrie Easley provides some details:
There is a service that has come up recently that is growing in the industry of weddings and events. The Backdrop and lighting for the reception ballroom is now on the list of “must have”. The backdrop and the colored lighting add an ambiance truly to be remembered. This backdrop is usually behind the headtable or wherever the most attention will be focused. With crystals, mirrors, beads, or even feathers hanging from the draping, it looks glorious with lighting directed from below to illuminate the “bling” even more.
The lighting can be of the wedding color as can the beads or feathers. The ballroom lights can be dimmed to make the lighting even more spectacular when the guests walk in. Day weddings can still use backdrops/draping with the beading, crystals, etc. showing as gloriously behind an elegantly floral decked headtable. Gone are the lattice screens, the potted plants and nothings…the backdrop is here and a growing demand.
My wife and I attended a recent Bridal show at the Tacoma Dome to discuss our system for helping newlyweds improve the odds that their marriage will last. Some folks were very interested; others were kind but were not.
The most interesting were the very opinionated brides to be when asked, “Do you have a Spending Plan?” Their almost agitated responses proved insightful:
“I have my money and he has his. He’ll never know how much. As long as he buys his socks and underwear, we’re fine.”
The first time I heard the comment the shock factor caught me off guard. The scary aspect of my Bridal show experience was that I heard similar responses all day long.
Experts at the University of Washington can now predict with 98% accuracy the probability of a marriage lasting. They cite 4 criteria in determining if the couple will stay married. They are affectionately called the 4 Horseman:
Of the four, contempt is the most important indicator. They have determined that predicting divorce is a function of patterns. If one partner speaks with contempt, it is an indicator of potential problems.
“It’s my money and that’s they way it is,” is speaking with contempt.
The purpose of getting married is to become one. In over 20 years in the financial business, it’s rare for a couple with separate accounts to become one.
Two strikes before they even say, “I do!”
I’d wish you good luck, but you’re going to need a lot more than that.
Favorite Things, A Bit of This and That
You want your wedding day to be memorable, not just for you, for your guests as well. Sumptuous nibbles or take away centerpieces will give your guests a reason to remember.
Menehune Mac, http://www.menehunemac.com, offers this helpful advice:
Finding just the right wedding favor in a sea of same old, same old can be a difficult task. Lucky for us, chocolates are still the #1 choice followed by nibbler size cookies, gourmet salts, couture cupcakes and loose leaf teas.
Go Green! Editable items in “green” containers are huge this year. Reusable cloth bags, handkerchief wraps and recyclable containers are eco-friendly and make thoughtful mementos.
Couples are also incorporating locally grown foods into their buffet tables and search for wedding products and services in their area to support the local economy.
Go Bold! Don’t be afraid to try hues of hot pink, apple green or vibrant orange in your favor boxes, bows and decorations. Bold colors will make your pictures pop and tablescape romantic and elegant.
Use wedding trends as ideas not rules. It’s your wedding day, do what you want and be creative.
*Begin your search right after you've settled on a head count. Book your reception site 9 to 12 months in advance.
*Seek recommendations from friends, family members and coworkers—anyone whose opinion you trust. And, chat with brides in your area.
*Before making appointments with site managers, request the following over the phone:
*Narrow down your list of sites, based on the phone interviews, and schedule site tours. Bring a notebook and pencil, and write down answers to your questions.
*Tour the entire facility, including bathrooms and kitchens. Note the quality of the lighting, and the availability and positioning of electrical outlets (for your band or DJ).
*Make sure the site's decor and ambience complement the style and colors of your wedding.
*If the site has an in-house caterer, schedule a meeting to discuss menu options and a tasting.
