It’s My Money
My wife and I attended a recent Bridal show at the Tacoma Dome to discuss our system for helping newlyweds improve the odds that their marriage will last. Some folks were very interested; others were kind but were not.
The most interesting were the very opinionated brides to be when asked, “Do you have a Spending Plan?” Their almost agitated responses proved insightful:
“I have my money and he has his. He’ll never know how much. As long as he buys his socks and underwear, we’re fine.”
The first time I heard the comment the shock factor caught me off guard. The scary aspect of my Bridal show experience was that I heard similar responses all day long.
Experts at the University of Washington can now predict with 98% accuracy the probability of a marriage lasting. They cite 4 criteria in determining if the couple will stay married. They are affectionately called the 4 Horseman:
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
- Criticism
- Contempt
Of the four, contempt is the most important indicator. They have determined that predicting divorce is a function of patterns. If one partner speaks with contempt, it is an indicator of potential problems.
“It’s my money and that’s they way it is,” is speaking with contempt.
The purpose of getting married is to become one. In over 20 years in the financial business, it’s rare for a couple with separate accounts to become one.
Two strikes before they even say, “I do!”
I’d wish you good luck, but you’re going to need a lot more than that.
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