Quote of the Day

Love feels no burden,
thinks nothing of trouble,
attempts what is above its strength,
pleads no excuse of impossibility...
It is therefore able to undertake all things,
and it completes many things,
and warrants them to take effect,
where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not.
Though weary, it is not tired;
though pressed, it is not straitened;
though alarmed, it is not confounded...

- Thomas A. Kempis -

Boot Camp Hawaii

Aloha! As a local small business owner, I'd like to introduce you to Boot Camp Hawaii. BCH is taking the next step toward helping women and men in Hawaii to get into the best shape of their lives! I am Emily Boll, owner of Boot Camp Hawaii. My focus for the next year is to promote our fitness and health services among local brides, grooms, family, and friends who want to challenge themselves to make a healthy visible change in their lives! Brides and grooms ultimately have a time frame in mind and that's to get fit and ready before their wedding day. I know this because I am a recent newlywed myself! During the engagement time together, most of people realize that their positive health changes will help them succeed further in maintaining their health beyond their wedding date. Also, everyone loves a little challenge and competition, right? I hope you can join in on our upcoming event! Please open the attachment for more details. Sincerely, Emily Boll "Be Healthy, Be Fit, Be Sassy!" Boot Camp Hawaii (808) 255-7714 bridalbootcamphawaii@yahoo.com URL: www.bridalbootcamphawaii.com

Kindness Trend

More and more couples right now are incorporating a charitable element into their big day – and it’s not just celebrities who are doing this. A wave of couples everywhere are making the choice to do something generous for a good cause as part of their wedding celebration.

Weddings have always had a self-indulgent element to them, and so it’s exciting to see couples generously opening their hearts to others on their wedding day. What a wonderful way to celebrate the love they share – by sprinkling some of that love out to others by doing good.

Kindness is contagious.

With any trend, the more people see of it, the more likely they are to adopt it. But a lot of people really feel inspired by the good deeds of others. It makes them want to do something good too. When you think about it, it’s a really beautiful way for a couple to start their new life together. You've got to admit, it’s got a good vibe to it.

We predict that the kindness trend will continue to pick up momentum over the next 12 months, but unlike other trends that fade completely after reaching their peak, the concept behind this one has some staying power. Trends, by their very nature, are flaky. One day everyone’s doing a particular thing, and before long it’s never seen again. But fortunately kindness never completely goes out of style. Chances are this current trend will show people how easily charitable elements can be incorporated into weddings, and those ideas will continue to be seen at weddings long after this is no longer the ‘it’ thing of the moment.

Once people try it they find that doing something kind for others actually feels amazingly good. And that makes them want to do more of it.

On a more personal note, frankly, I wish this trend had started back when I got married in ’92. I personally have a lot of concern for the well being of animals. Looking back, making a donation in each of my guest’s names to a no-kill shelter would have been more meaningful than all those pretty little wedding favors we gave away. Sure, the favors were gorgeous, but doing something to make a difference would have been an unbeatable feeling. Unfortunately, no one thought of doing this fifteen years ago.

So why this trend at this time? Here's our theory. In recent times, we’ve witnessed a lot of really harsh realities. September 11. America at war. The Tsunami. Then Katrina. As they spend all that money on a big one-day celebration for themselves, and revel in their own happiness, a lot of caring, socially conscious couples are trying to reconcile that with the suffering many others are experiencing in these times. There may be a little pang of guilt, or simply a genuine desire to share their blessings with others who are nowhere near as fortunate.

Today more and more couples use the details of their weddings to paint an intimate self-portrait of themselves. Through the many wedding-related selections they need to make - the decor, the food, the flower, the favors - they strive to make a statement about who they are so that their wedding day becomes a meaningful reflection of themselves. Certainly, making kindess a part of their weddings or including a philantrhopic element says something very special about a couple.

More and more couples everywhere are taking the opportunity to show kindness to others when they exchange their vows. You can do this too, and we highly encourage it! Make a charitable donation in the name of each of your guests in place of traditional wedding favors. Or ask guests to make a donation to the charity of your choice, or theirs, in place of wedding gifts. Sooner or later, kindness is always returned to you, ten fold. We promise!

Here are some ideas on how you can make kindness a part of your wedding:

* In place of traditional wedding favors, make a donation to a worthwhile cause in each guest’s name. At the reception, present each guest with a small nicely printed card explaining that this has been done.

* Suggest that instead of wedding gifts, guests make a contribution to either a charity of your choosing, or a cause that is important to them. Pop star Christina Aguilera did this when she wed last December and requested that guests make donations to Hurricane Katrina victims rather than giving wedding presents. Even comic strip characters are taking a shine to this trend; the popular comic strip character Cathy also did this last year when she asked her guests (and readers of the strip) to make a donation to a particular California shelter for homeless animals!

* Some gift registry services will donate a percentage of all gifts purchased through their service to the charity of your choice – look for one that offers this.

* Make arrangements to donate food left over from the reception to a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

* Donate flower arrangements to local hospices or nursing homes following the wedding.

* After the wedding, donate your used wedding supplies and accessories –or even your wedding dress - to Goodwill (Goodwill Industries International) or another charitable organization that collects used goods.

Quote of the Day!

"Of all actions of a man's life, his marriage does least concern other people,
yet of all actions of our life 'Tis most meddled with by other people."

John Selden
1584-1654, British Jurist, Statesman

Quote of the Day!

Blessing for a Marriage
by James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite
excitement marriage should bring,
and may life grant you also patience,
tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another -
not so much to fill your emptiness
as to help you to know your fullness.
A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make
the mountain less, but more;
and the valley is more a valley because
it has a mountain towering over it.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another,
and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!"
and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart,
may both of you hope to have
good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery which is
the awareness of one another's
presence - no more physical than spiritual,
warm and near when you are
side by side, and warm and near when
you are in separate rooms
or even distant cities.

May you have happiness,
and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

Tacoma Wedding Expo florists!

Always and Forever Creations

Debra’s Botanical Designs

Fife Flowers

GardenPartyToGo Romantic Wedding Flowers

Hector Auffant Designs-Cascade Floral

L & M Designs

Lola Event Floral and Design

Diamonds ---Getting the Most for Your Money

Diamonds ---Getting the Most for Your Money

Have you been together as a couple for a while now? Have you seen your romance grow into love and mutual respect? Do you communicate deeply and solve conflicts together? Do you want to be with your partner for the rest of your life? Is it time to start looking for a diamond?

When buying a diamond there are steps you can take to ensure that you get the most for your money. There are great values to be found in today’s marketplace if you can navigate through all the pitfalls. Take to heart the following do’s and don’ts .

Define A Budget

As a couple discuss and decide on what you want for an engagement ring and what you can afford to spend on that ring.

Ask Your Friends And Family for Jewelers That They Trust

Make two or three of the top names your starting place. Go to and interact with each company to see if they are right for you.

Resolve To Take Your Time

Diamond education is vitally important to getting a great looking diamond at the best price. Don’t try to get by with what appears to be easy deals. Take your time and do not make a spur of the moment “emotional” decision. Be patient, do your homework and learn to be able to tell whether or not a seller is looking out for your benefit.

Get As Educated As Possible About Diamonds

Learn and understand the 4C’s of Diamond Grading---Color, Clarity, Carat Weight and Cut. Find a store that will actually show you the 4C’s using diamond grading equipment and not just talk about them.

Shopping For And Buying A Loose Diamond Will Save You Money

Make sure you purchase your diamond loose not mounted. If it is mounted it is impossible to accurately determine the Color, Clarity, Carat Weight or Cut of the diamond and to know if you are getting good value.

Perceiving Diamond Color Will Save You Money

If you can see the different diamond color grades side-by-side then you can determine just what colors will work for you. Very tiny differences in diamond color can make a difference in value of hundreds or thousands of dollars. By seeing the diamond color grades you can decide to spend your money on a higher color or to save some money by purchasing a lower color grade.

Perceiving Diamond Clarity Will Save You Money

If you can see what the different diamond clarity grades look like under a binocular microscope then you can determine just what clarities will work for you. Very tiny differences in diamond clarity can make a difference in value of hundreds or thousands of dollars. By seeing the diamond clarity grades you can decide to spend your money on a higher clarity or to save some money by purchasing a lower clarity grade.

Knowing How Diamond Carat Weight Affects Value Will Save You Money

Small differences in diamond carat weight can make a difference in value of hundreds or thousands of dollars. For example, a 1.35 ct diamond approaches the size of a 1.50 ct but costs substantially less for the same Shape, Color, Clarity and Cut. Knowing this can help you to get the look that you want for less.

Knowing Diamond Cut Will Let You Choose Between Beauty and Saving Money

Small differences in Diamond Cut---the inter-related proportions and angles of a stone make a huge difference in both how beautiful a diamond is and in its value. A poorly cut diamond may be up to 50% less expensive but it will not be as beautiful and will have less brilliance, fire and scintillation.

Considering Fancy Shape Diamonds Will Save You Money

All of the Fancy Shape Diamonds are less expensive than a Round Brilliant Cut Diamond---all things being equal. Some fancy shapes are the Princess Cut, the Marquise Cut, the Oval Shape, the Heart Shape, the Pear Shape, the Radiant Cut, the Emerald Cut, the Asscher Cut and the Cushion Cut. Within each of these shapes you can find some examples that are very beautiful and many examples that are not beautiful.

Find The Company Who Will Work To Provide You With Your Perfect Stone

You want to spend your budget on a beautiful diamond with the qualities that is important to you. Everyone will have their own perception as to what is a good diamond. Some may want a high quality, Super Ideal Cut diamond, while others want a very nice looking near ideal cut diamond that is clean to the naked eye, whitish in color, and as large as they can afford. Others may prefer a different shape, Princess, Marquise, Oval, Heart, Cushion, etc.

You should find a jeweler that will listen to your preferences and help you find a beautiful diamond with the qualities that are perfect for you.

If you follow these shopping tips you will purchase a beautiful diamond at a great price. It will be a diamond that you will forever cherish as you move forward with your life together. We wish you the best.

Flowers, Baubles & Beads

Flowers, Baubles & Beads

Floral arrangements have come along way, and now can include feathers, beads, rhinestones and other "bling" that adds texture and color.

Terrie Easley, of Terrie Easley Designs www.easleydesigns.com, shares some of the trends she's seeing:

No matter the circumstances, weddings still are visions that a Bride and Groom have had for years as to what that special day will be like when it becomes a reality. Especially the Bride! It must be her dream day from the beginning to the end with the groom’s favorite part being…”the ultimate honeymoon.” When there is a budget established, it is sometimes altered when an idea is introduced that seems to “just be too good to pass up”.

There are so many new items on the wedding market. The wristlet bands are with beads, crystals, pearls, and rhinestones. The boutonnieres have pewter, or metal holders as does the bouquet holders. New types of ribbons, new arbors and arches made of bamboo or willow are choices of many couples getting married outdoors.

Being in business for 30 some years, I can honestly say that though there are newer trends, the old traditional with just a touch of new ideas is still the choice of most couples when it comes to floral designs. It comes full circle as most things do.

Wendy Balidoy of Spinning W.E.B. Florist, www.spinningwebflorist.com, offers more details:

Well...there are alot of new trends that we are seeing, and of course, everyone wants the most bang for their buck.

Black seems to be BIG.....black rocks lining pathways...black chandeliers suspended above, black vases, black accents in bouquets.... and feathers, lots of feathers! Peacock feathers, which look fantastic with black accents are in demand. White ostrich plumes are also very popular.

Brides are looking for options rather than the "rose", we found that green cymbidiums were in for the past two years...but this year and for next year..its calla lilies!

Large vase rentals are very popular, especially for our destination brides who want "the look" but

do not want the hassle of lugging them home.... These large vases can be a dual purpose expense. They can line the isle to the alter, and be quickly moved to the guest tables during the reception or couple's cocktail hour.

Flowers and Lighting?!

Light it UP!

Floral arrangements add beauty and romance to a wedding and the reception, but what if you want something .... well, something MORE? You light it.

Terrie Easley provides some details:

There is a service that has come up recently that is growing in the industry of weddings and events. The Backdrop and lighting for the reception ballroom is now on the list of “must have”. The backdrop and the colored lighting add an ambiance truly to be remembered. This backdrop is usually behind the headtable or wherever the most attention will be focused. With crystals, mirrors, beads, or even feathers hanging from the draping, it looks glorious with lighting directed from below to illuminate the “bling” even more.

The lighting can be of the wedding color as can the beads or feathers. The ballroom lights can be dimmed to make the lighting even more spectacular when the guests walk in. Day weddings can still use backdrops/draping with the beading, crystals, etc. showing as gloriously behind an elegantly floral decked headtable. Gone are the lattice screens, the potted plants and nothings…the backdrop is here and a growing demand.

Quote of the Day

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day."

Barbara De Angelis

Common Bride Mistakes

According to a recent survey of wedding professionals brides tend to make the same mistakes over and over: Here is a list of their responses~

1. They rely on too many opinions....too much input!

2. They have unrealistic expectations

3. They don't hire wedding professionals...they try to cut cost by having friends or family help out. This causes chaos and stress.

4. They don't create or use a good timeline/checklist

5. They don't read the contracts provided by wedding professionals

6. They don't realize the ceremony is for the bride but the reception is for the parents/guests

7. They don't find out what flowers are in season

8. They don't have 1 point person to fall back on, or run interference for the bride on the wedding day!

It’s My Money

It’s My Money

Richard Himmer

My wife and I attended a recent Bridal show at the Tacoma Dome to discuss our system for helping newlyweds improve the odds that their marriage will last. Some folks were very interested; others were kind but were not.

The most interesting were the very opinionated brides to be when asked, “Do you have a Spending Plan?” Their almost agitated responses proved insightful:

“I have my money and he has his. He’ll never know how much. As long as he buys his socks and underwear, we’re fine.”

The first time I heard the comment the shock factor caught me off guard. The scary aspect of my Bridal show experience was that I heard similar responses all day long.

Experts at the University of Washington can now predict with 98% accuracy the probability of a marriage lasting. They cite 4 criteria in determining if the couple will stay married. They are affectionately called the 4 Horseman:

1. Defensiveness
2. Stonewalling
3. Criticism
4. Contempt

Of the four, contempt is the most important indicator. They have determined that predicting divorce is a function of patterns. If one partner speaks with contempt, it is an indicator of potential problems.

“It’s my money and that’s they way it is,” is speaking with contempt.

The purpose of getting married is to become one. In over 20 years in the financial business, it’s rare for a couple with separate accounts to become one.

Two strikes before they even say, “I do!”

I’d wish you good luck, but you’re going to need a lot more than that.

A few things if you are getting married in Hawaii!

Favorite Things, A Bit of This and That

You want your wedding day to be memorable, not just for you, for your guests as well. Sumptuous nibbles or take away centerpieces will give your guests a reason to remember.

Menehune Mac, http://www.menehunemac.com, offers this helpful advice:

Finding just the right wedding favor in a sea of same old, same old can be a difficult task. Lucky for us, chocolates are still the #1 choice followed by nibbler size cookies, gourmet salts, couture cupcakes and loose leaf teas.

Go Green! Editable items in “green” containers are huge this year. Reusable cloth bags, handkerchief wraps and recyclable containers are eco-friendly and make thoughtful mementos.

Couples are also incorporating locally grown foods into their buffet tables and search for wedding products and services in their area to support the local economy.

Go Bold! Don’t be afraid to try hues of hot pink, apple green or vibrant orange in your favor boxes, bows and decorations. Bold colors will make your pictures pop and tablescape romantic and elegant.

Use wedding trends as ideas not rules. It’s your wedding day, do what you want and be creative.

Quote of the Day

"My wife has been my closest friend, my closest advisor. And ... she's not somebody who looks to the limelight, or even is wild about me being in politics. And that's a good reality check on me. When I go home, she wants me to be a good father and a good husband. And everything else is secondary to that."

Barack Obama

Tips for choosing a reception location:

*Begin your search right after you've settled on a head count. Book your reception site 9 to 12 months in advance.

*Seek recommendations from friends, family members and coworkers—anyone whose opinion you trust. And, chat with brides in your area.

*Before making appointments with site managers, request the following over the phone:

• availability on your wedding date
• food and beverage options on premise
• number of guests the venue can accommodate
• parking options
• accessibility for handicapped guests
• number of events the venue will hold simultaneously

*Narrow down your list of sites, based on the phone interviews, and schedule site tours. Bring a notebook and pencil, and write down answers to your questions.

*Tour the entire facility, including bathrooms and kitchens. Note the quality of the lighting, and the availability and positioning of electrical outlets (for your band or DJ).

*Make sure the site's decor and ambience complement the style and colors of your wedding.

*If the site has an in-house caterer, schedule a meeting to discuss menu options and a tasting.

The Four Horseman

The Four Horseman
2009 Richard Himmer

John Gottman, PhD. from the University of Washington has done amazing work and research on marriage over the past few decades and has identified four key problems that lead to divorce. He calls them the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse.

The four problems are: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.

Dr. Gottman explains that contempt for a partner is the most crucial indicator of divorce. He can predict with 95% accuracy if a couple will divorce after watching them for only 15 minutes.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are a metaphor depicting the end of the world. They are described as conquest, war, hunger, and death.

Many believe that conflict leads to divorce, but conflict itself is not the problem. It is how we handle it. Conflict is a problem, however, when accompanied by the presence of what Dr. Gottman calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:”

1. Criticism involves attacking your partner’s personality or character, rather than focusing on the specific behavior that bothers you.

Following the Board of Director’s agenda and the Responsibility Pyramid when communicating eliminates criticism from the equation.

2. Contempt is the step that has the greatest predictability factor. It is worse than criticism and involves tearing down or being insulting toward your partner. Contempt is an open sign of disrespect. Examples of contempt include: putting down your spouse, rolling your eyes or sneering, or tearing down the other person with so-called “humor.”

When a relationship starts with love and the proper love language is used, contempt is minimized. Seeing the vision of intimacy as the end result can alter the level of contempt or eliminate it.

3. Defensiveness. Adopting a defensive stance in the middle of conflict may be a natural response, but does not help the relationship. When a person is defensive, he or she often experiences a great deal of tension and has difficulty tuning into what is being said. Denying responsibility, making excuses, or meeting one complaint with another are all examples of defensiveness.

Using a BOD meeting in an environment where it’s not who is right but what is right will remove the need to be defensive. There is no hierarchy in a BOD meeting. The Responsibility Pyramid is part of the rules of engagement and if there is no blaming or justifying, there is no need to be defensive.

4. Stonewalling. People who stonewall simply refuse to respond. This is the man cave or the chick hut. Occasional stonewalling can be healthy, but as a typical way of interacting, stonewalling during conflict can be destructive to the marriage. Stonewalling is an abrupt stop to progress. Men tend to engage in stonewalling much more often than women do.

We have been conditioned to enter our man caves or chick huts from an early age. Getting out of a man cave requires willingness, knowledge, and skill. Reading a book isn’t the same as developing the skill.

All couples will engage in these types of behaviors at some point in their marriage, but when the four horsemen take permanent residence, the relationship has a high probability of failing.

In fact, Gottman’s research reveals that the chronic presence of these four factors in a relationship can be used to predict, with over 80% accuracy, which couples will eventually divorce. When attempts to repair the damage done by these horsemen are met with repeated rejection, Gottman says there is over a 90% chance the relationship will end in divorce.

We go to college for many years so we can become wealthy. How much time and effort do we expend into becoming happy?

Balanced Living Family, Balanced Living from the Start, Coaches, Divorce, Marriage, Newlyweds Chick Hut, Contempt, Criticism, Dr. John Gottman, Man Cave, The Four Horsemen

Marriage Quote of the Day!

Robert C. Dodds:

"The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together."

Marriage Quote of the Day

Ogden Nash:

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.

Wedding Quote for the Day!

"I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance; a church filled with flowers and friends. I asked him what kind of wedding he wished for; he said one that would make me his wife."

Source Unknown

January 2010 Expo line-up!

January 2-3, 2010	Tacoma Wedding Expo WA - Washington
January 9-10, 2010	Portland-Vancouver Wedding Expo OR - Oregon
January 9-10, 2010	Seattle Wedding Expo WA - Washington
January 22-24, 2010	Hawaii Bridal Expo - January HI - Hawaii
January 30-31, 2010	Lynnwood-Everett Wedding Expo WA - Washington